“We hate in others what we see in ourselves.”
I say this a lot. I think it’s entirely true.
Probably why I hate Jenae’s martyr complex so much. And why I hate Lyndon’s martyr complex so much. And everyone else’s martyr complex so much:
Because I’m riding a massive martyr complex myself. Riding it like the damn Pony Express or some damn thing.
…Except I don’t talk about it. Oh, here, of course I do, but my blog is my outlet for all the things I bottle up inside and don’t discuss with the general population.
With people, I’m quiet and nice and a bit of a smartass. I don’t talk about myself. Heh, our little Sabbath phone-hookup thing a few weeks ago, Bob decided to do this little who’s-who thing and picked Gabriel and I to give a little two-minute Introduction To LeReigne course. Gabriel talked about himself for a moment, then said “I think I’ll let Amara speak for herself.”
Oh. Shit. Um. How can I get out of this as quickly as possible?
When we were out with Jim and Sara last week, Gabriel got up to use the restroom, and Jim looks at me and says, “I don’t think we know your story at all.”
Oh. Damn. How can I get out of this as quickly as possible?
This is just how I am; I don’t really like talking about myself, having the spotlight. Not interested, move along. I’ll just lurk here in the background and you may pay attention to me if I have some smartass remark to deliver; otherwise, talk amongst yourselves.
But inwardly? Hell of a martyr complex.
I just don’t talk about it.
It pisses me off when Lyndon angsts about how shitty his life is. The entire time he rants I’m thinking Bitch please, you have no idea what a hard life is. Yeah, having your parents get divorced is rough, but try having them together and hating each other – and everyone else. Having just a few friends must be rough for an extrovert – try having no friends. Try being abandoned by your entire family. Try being completely unprepared for adulthood and having no one to fall back on. You don’t like biking to work? Try walking two miles to work every day with no one to give you rides when it’s snowing and twenty below zero. Don’t fucking bitch about how hard your life is to me, you ungrateful little -
Maybe it doesn’t count as a martyr complex since I don’t talk about it.
That’s a nice thought Amara; too bad it’s full of bullshit.